Psychology of grey weather…

I didn’t realise that living in England for the best part of 25years could give me such long term psychological damage… it is very grey outside and I don’t want to leave the office and go home because I am scared it will be nasty and cold… but actually I know that it is boiling hot… but that fact isn’t really conveying itself to the part of my brain that moves my feet…

a life of leisure....

In the interests of trying out all possible combinations and permutations of massages before I leave this haven of massage-ness I have been deviating from the usual full body aromatherapy massage... and in recent weeks I have had a Thai massage where a midget Thai lady tried (unsuccessfully) to click every joint in my body. I can only conclude we Europeans are not as clicky as Asians... one of my colleagues at work can even click his neck whilst sitting looking at his computer (legend)... the Thai massage also involved her walking all over my back and feet and trying some strange maneuvre where she lifted and twisted me round... for a midget (well small person) she was rather strong...
today I went for an Indian head massage... lying on the cushions, under the aircon, listening to sounds of the forest (piped in over a posh sound system) was a nice was to laze away the hot lunch time hour... however I did wonder why on earth I was paying someone $10 to bore their fingers into my skull and pull at my hair (does anyone know how an Indian head massage for bald people works?)... I don’t think ill try another one of those... especially as they used this kind of massage oil/gel stuff and despite washing my hair 2x today it still looks greasy - as if I haven’t washed it for a month... nice...

oooo thoughts on hair... I’m thinking of getting a perm... which is comedy... in the sense that I’m really not a spend 5 hours in front of the mirror doing my hair and make up sort of girl... in fact I can safely say I have been to a hairdresser 3 times in the last 2 years... however I’ve never had curly hair and I thought it might be interesting... a one off experience... just to see what I look like... but I’m not totally convinced about the chemicals being poured all over my head mlarky...
we shall see... I shall keep you updated... if I start blogging from a hospital in Bangkok you know it all went wrong...

My elfname is....

quite by chance i have stumbled on a random website (blogthings.com)
which tells you all sorts of useless information about yourself...

so i thought i would enlighten you with some little known facts about me.

My elfname is: FURRY SNOWBALLER (do not ask me how this is calculated - I am certain its not scientific)....

My ''sexy Brazilian'' name is: Rafaela Peixe

The car I should drive is: Jaguar XK 4.2 (wont say no to one of them...)

I am 23% american (apparently this means pretty un-american.. good... no offence sadiebaksh)

I am not scarry

In my past 'animal life' i was a fox... edward???

My mind is 'a creative hotbed of artistic talent'.

I am 12% Psychopath...


I hope you now feel as enlightened as I do

Change

you can always count on Tracy Chapman for some thought provoking lines....

Change
Tracy Chapman

If you knew that you would die today,
Saw the face of god and love,
Would you change?
Would you change?

If you knew that love can break your heart
When you're down so low you cannot fall
Would you change?
Would you change?

How bad, how good does it need to get?
How many losses? How much regret?
What chain reaction would cause an effect?
Makes you turn around,
Makes you try to explain,
Makes you forgive and forget,
Makes you change?
Makes you change?

If you knew that you would be alone,
Knowing right, being wrong,
Would you change?
Would you change?

If you knew that you would find a truth
That brings up pain that can't be soothed
Would you change?
Would you change?

Are you so upright you can't be bent?
If it comes to blows are you so sure you won't be crawling?
If not for the good, why risk falling?
Why risk falling?

If everything you think you know,
Makes your life unbearable,
Would you change?
Would you change?

If you'd broken every rule and vow,
And hard times come to bring you down,
Would you change?
Would you change?

If you saw the face of God and love
If you saw the face of God and love
Would you change?
Would you change?

photos

ive just uploaded a few more photos onto flickr - see link on right hand side

karaoake and mud

I am currently typing this lying in my hammock, eating popcorn… seeing the screen is proving hard through the glare of the sun and my scratched up sunglasses… note to self: investing in some decent non scratch sporty type sunglasses might be wise before going mountain biking in a dirt bath…

There has just been a short interlude, during which (and I lie not) my hammock has broken… I was just lying back and the next thing I new the ropes snapped and I was on the floor… ooops…I have either become incredibly fat or the ropes have rotted… I am inclined to think the latter is true, its not like I'm eating lead bricks… popcorn is really quite light… I suppose this means I will have to buy a new hammock…tomorrow is another public holiday (Queens Birthday) so I shall go a shopping!

Since I last wrote I've had a couple of amusing experiences that I thought I might write about… the first one was at the beach. Anyone who has spent much time in Asia will know they’re mad crazy about karaoke… karaoke here involves renting a room and then just singing or dancing with your friends (I’m not sure if you could rent a room on your own… but possibly?)… the other thing about Asian karaoke is that pretty much most karaoke bars seem to double up as brothels… so anyways we went to the karaoke on our last night at the beach. We went to a pretty high class establishment (identified as such by the large numbers of mercs and land cruisers outside)… even so I was slightly concerned about how old some of the ‘beer girls’ looked… ho hum… lets just hope they were having safe sex. Once in our Karaoke room we probably disappointed the staff by just drinking water and not ordering any ‘extras’… being with mostly Khmers we mostly did Khmer karaoke.. Khmer just looks like squiggles to me… so no chance of singing along… however of course the time came for me to sing a song… what to sing was the problem… for some unknown reason I opted for ‘locomotion’ by kylie, everyone was waiting with baited breath for the song to queue… I had the microphone ready and was watching the screen intently… however the opening words revealed that there was some error, the qued song was certainly not locomotion, but something random which I had never ever heard before… there followed 3 painful minutes whilst I hacked my way through a random unknown song, my colleagues laughed at me and scantily clad women danced on a ski slope on the karaoke screen (I really don’t know what the ski slope was about)… so kylie take2… in retrospect choosing kylie was a mistake… I know the chorus to locomotion, but the rest of it I haven’t a clue… I’m not even a big Kylie fan… hmmm… anyways it was entertaining, especially as the karaoke movie this time around was scenes from Saltsburg (singing Kylie to scenes from the sound of music is soooo wrong)…

Enough about karaoke bars… next excitements happened today, when I took advantage of my half decent Vietnamese bike and went for a ride with a friend. Oh how I love riding my bike. It was a great ride up a dirt road alongside the river, passing through some little villages, wooden houses all higgledy pigildy on stilts… neither of us are going-back-the-way-we-come types… so we determined to find a nice loop back to the main road… this involved riding along ever deteriorating mud tracks… through rice fields… we were hoping that the land markers were not actually land mine markers, we knew they weren’t, but thoughts of being blown to bits do float across your mind… anyways it was a bit bumpy but the tracks were not a problem in itself until it started to rain… it didn’t even rain that hard, and my initial concern was the degree to which my clothes would go see-through… however I soon realised this was really a secondary concern as the mud started sticking to the wheels… and then more mud started sticking and soon, as soon as I had unclogged the mud with sticks even more mud had got attached… I should perhaps note that the soil is like clay… so in effect my bike was fast becoming a clay model… sticks were proving ineffective at declogging so I just was pulling off the clay with my hands… getting myself more and more filthy… in the end, after going less than 30meters in 10 minutes I realised the only choice was to carry my bike, it wasn’t going to be ridden or pushed anywhere the mud-clay was so thick. My nice orange Vietnamese bike isn’t that heavy, but the added weight of the clay made it a little tricky… as did attempting to stay upright, whilst lugging the bike walking barefoot through the slippery mud – I had to carry my sandals as they were fast turning into high heels the amount of mud they were collecting… anyways so we are slowly slip walking along a mud track, bikes in the air, in the middle of Cambodian nowhere when my bike slips and the front wheel fork swings snap shut onto my wrist… ooops. The outcome of this was that I nearly passed out and had to crouch with my head between my knees to stop meself throwing up… anyways we had to go onwards, couldn’t just stop… we really were in the middle of no where useful…I estimate we walked for 1.5-2km carrying the bikes which was increasingly hard with my left wrist being slightly buggered… I know our mud covered appearance caused much amusement to bystanders… proving to Khmers that fancy foreign bikes are just as useless at dealing with mud as their grannie bikes.... Eventually we met the graded road… and a power hose (there are power hoses all over this country… presumably as mud clogs up everyone’s motos?)… the bikes, shoes and feet and hands were power hosed sparkly clean and ride-able whilst we supped sweet sweet sugar cane juice (dad will appreciate this)… then back to Phnom Penh along the main road… tricky as by this time I was really only able to cycle one handed as the vibrations from the road annoyed my wrist… my friends cartilage in her knee was also causing problems… it might all sound rather messy, but it was soooperdoooper fun… its good to have adventures me thinks, stops life getting too dull…

Now my wrist has had a little rest it feels marginally better but its fairly bruised and my hand tingles… however typing this isn’t too hard… I shall see if it improves, before considering attempting to find a doctor… I don’t think Cambodia is a centre of health excellence in the world… although its not the worst. According to the WHO Myanmar has the worse health care service in the world… mmm its really quite close to here, perhaps I could go on a medical vacation….

I think that’s enough from me

Love and lovely muddy bikes

Me x x x x

world cup updates

I thought I would write a brief update from the beach... as I type I am looking out over white sands, at the lovely warm blue blue sea... mmmmm

actually I am at the beach to do work... team planning and team building... the team building bit is the fun bit because it means we can play play play... hooray!

Yesterday we arrived and went down to the beach... we ate BBQed squid and then got down to playing football... now I am fairly rubbish at this sort of thing but it was amusing running around in the sand and I scored a hat trick... (I think this is more due to the fact that no one wanted to tackle the foreigner than skill on my part). Lots of kids joined in, a chance for them to stop selling bracelets or collecting rubbish and just mess around like children should...
according to my colleagues Cambodians are really into football, and watch as many of the world cup matches as they can stay awake for (we are 6hrs ahead here)... teams supported are England and Brazil! When questioned about the Cambodian national squad they unanimously concluded they were rubbish.. Loosing every game... although apparently the under 14 squad is great!

After football people decided to go swimming... I should mention that when most Cambodians go swimming they just run in the water in their clothes and don’t actually swim (they cant)... but splash around... looking around the beach in Sianoukville you notice a stark contrast between the scantily bikini clad foreign tourists and the Cambodians in their shorts and vests... the small irony is that sometimes due to the see-through nature of their clothes the Cambodians can be revealing more than the foreigners!
now my swim suit was back in the hotel, but I would have felt uncomfortable wearing it anyways what with everyone else being fully dressed... unfortunately I was wearing some trousers which are really quite loose and I thought they would fall off in the water - nightmare! Fortunately a kid selling beach shorts came to my rescue and for 1 English pound I bought a pair of blue shorts which have ''World Cup 2010'' embroidered on them... interesting... it doesn’t say South Africa or anything like that so perhaps they were made before that location was announced? anyways these shorts were preferable to the white ones with palm trees (huge see-through potential there) or the purple ones with sleeping dogs on them (nasty) or the ones which were designed for thin Asians and not fat telfys (most of the selection)

once I was suitably dressed in shorts and t-shirt I could go play in the sea... oh the warm warm sea... so unlike the cold Atlantic sea...

over and out xx

itchy head

i've noticed my head has been itching recently. perhaps i have lice... ive slept in some fairly scanky looking places... or perhaps its just itchy... interesting.

last night i decided to half watch the last 20min of the england paraguay game... commentary was in Vietnamese... the only things i understood were the cries of 'day-vid beeeek-ham' and 'steee-van jeee-rard'.. there wasnt a nice little score tally in the top right hand corner like on the BBC, so it wasnt until they fortunately flashed the score up at the end that i knew we won!

ooo other exciting things that i have spied on TV was that apparently yesterday was the 'world naked bike ride' why didnt i know about this? would have been great in Phnom Penh... possibly...
actually it all looked a bit naked for my liking, but good idea!http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/5067154.stm


im currently trying to upload some photos of 'nam onto flickr... if it works and you fancy a look there is a link on right hand side of this page xxxxxxx

The ride

I have been meaning to write an update about my trip to ‘nam for a few days, but just havnt found the time to sit down and collate my thoughts into something for the old blog!

Now I have just finished a lunch of sour soup and crab and other yummies and I have some time… actually on the lunch note, the soup was not soured by tamarind (as usual) but by these strange insects that looked like mini wasps… slightly disconcerting to eat at first, but I got used to it…

So the trip to nam… well last I wrote I was sitting in Ho Chi Minh pondering whether the bikes we had picked up would make it back to Phnom Penh… they did indeed do the distance… 298km in 2.5days wasn’t bad going considering the heat and humidity!

Day 1 – the ride from Ho Chi Minh to Bavat (Cambodian boarder town) via some tunnels used by the viet cong during the Vietnam/American war – was pretty adventurous… mostly because the tunnels were not on the main road, and required some navigation through the Vietnamese countryside. We were armed with maps – but these turned out to be slightly dodgy, and anyways we didn’t really meet any Vietnamese who could read maps very well… indeed the Vietnamese we met couldn’t really speak English either which made getting lost an interesting experience… so yes we got lost… alas for all its lovely smooth roads Vietnam hasn’t developed brown signs to major tourist attractions… each time we got lost or in trouble we were helped by some incredibly lovely people, which restored some of my faith in humanity (it has taken a knocking in the bodge with all the corruption and stamping on small people that goes on here….)
The first time we were lost we stopped at a petrol station to ask for help… pointing at the map and gesturing about tunnels… everyone looked confused, but then these two men on a moto with limited English said we should follow them… so they poodled off down the road and we tried to keep up with them for about 5km back the way we came… they stopped at a shop and went and bought us another map and drew a line on it the way we were supposed to go… very very nice of them… so off we went again and all went well until we started thinking that perhaps we were not quite on the road we thought we were on… especially when people kept telling us it was another 20km to the tunnels… hmmm well I think we took a wrong turning or something, but we ended up doing 2 long sides of a triangle rather than one short one… but we did eventually make it to the tunnels… there we watched a promotional video about ‘America and her lacky’s’ and then went around the tunnel system which was pretty amazing, even if it was reconstructed (apparently so the fat westerners could go down the tunnels… Vietcong were very small… hence the Americans couldn’t follow them in the tunnels). We got our photos taken by Vietcong (well dummies dressed up as Vietcong)… my dad got to climb on an American tank that had been partially blown up… and we ate tapioca (as the Vietcong did)… I never realised tapioca was a plant… finally there was the horrible shooting range where my dad fired an AK47 and an M16 I think… guns are evil things, they were so loud and just make me think of all the damage they can do to peoples lives… what is the point?… ho hum.
It then started to thunder which added to the feeling that we had stepped back in time and were about to be bombed by B52s… back at the bikes I discovered that minimiffy (smallsmall toy miffy animal) had fallen off my bag where she was attached… (minimiffy had been keen to learn about the vietcong you see)… this was verging on a minor tragedy, I couldn’t just abandon minimiffy to the Vietnamese jungle… soooo I paid the guide again to take me round the tunnels and forests to find minimiffy (I am sure this amused/confused him highly)… we couldn’t find her in the tunnels and I really was despairing of ever seeing her again when we arrived back at the shooting range and there she was talking to the shooting instructors. It would appear that minimiffy has less compunction about guns than I do… and is possibly now the sharpest toy rabbit shooter in the world?
By the time I returned to my poor dad it was raining monsoon styleee… we waited a bit to see if it would ease off… haha no chance! So we set off in the rain… me feeling very smug at having invested in some gore tex clothes and ortelieb panniers (I can confirm they’re 100% waterproof – we tested them real good)… there were a few small hills on our mission back to find the main road to the boarder and it was just nice to cycle up them and feel my cycling legs again… the roads were good, even in the countryside… although in saying that the drainage on the roads was CRAP, lots of cycling through floods! Also Vietnamese houses were not on stilts like in Cambodia and they had neat gardens with hedges, and at some points, in the rain and with the smooth road, I could imagine myself to be home…
So of course we got lost again… and this time a nice non-English speaking lady drew us a map of how to find the main road… if she hadn’t I think perhaps we still would be cycling round south Vietnam today… back on the main road and it was 5ish… still rainingraining and we were 40km from the boarder and had cycled 80 odd km already… we plodded on, and it got dark… plodded on for a long long time it seemed. Fortunately Vietnam has street lights… so we reached the boarder around 8ish after stopping for a genuine slap up Chinese… we declined the offer of a guesthouse, wanting to hop across the boarder and into a glittering casino we could see across the way… after clearing customs we soon discovered that no casinos wanted 2 mud splattered barangs (foreigners) on bikes to stay, we couldn’t even get past the guards at the entrances… it was past 9pm, the 1 guesthouse was full and I was a leeetle worried cos Cambodge in the dark… at a boarder town full of casinos and prostitutes and probably guns… we were really tired etc… and there was no room at the inn… I managed to get past the guards into the last casino (there followed a comedy moment as I tried to walk through the metal detector and they thought my camelpak drinking system was some sort of gun holster)… so inside the casino I tried to talk my way into the Casino’s hotel… I was looking pretty pathetic and I played up on that and the poor manager (who spoke English) was concerned for me… but we couldn’t stay… anyways pesterpester and he eventually agreed to call another guesthouse 2km down the road and see if there was a space.. there was and he booked us in, and he even came outside (by this time it was only drizzling) to point us in the right direction… seriously if there was no room at that guesthouse we would have been screwed… anyways we slept well that night!

Ok, the final 2 days of cycling in the bodge were less eventful, mostly because we just headed into Phnom Penh on highway number 1… long and mostly flat... varying quality and busy-ness (roads are no way as nice in Cambodia as ‘nam)… it was great just to see and smell the countryside… and interact with people a bit… something you don’t really do looking out of a bus/car window… sometimes kids would come and cycle alongside us for a km or so just to practice their English… we drank lots of sugar cane juice and even more water – wowing people with the camelpaks (why were we pouring bottles of water into our rucksacks??)… we chatted to some monks… watched the world go by… shouted ‘hello’ to the manymanymany children who called out as we cycled past… it was really nice… and hot and sunny… I wrapped a Cambodian scarf or Krama around my cycle helmet to keep the sun off my face, ears and neck… seemed to work, although my colleagues now say I am the same colour as a Cambodian (this is not a compliment and I feel they’re exaggerating the colour of my skin significantly)…

The final mornings ride back to PP involved crossing the Mekong and navigating along a narrow road with potholes the size of elephant’s feet, whilst ridiculous amounts of traffic sped past us, weaving in and out of other traffic, and generally driving in a manner that implied the driver was trying to kill himself, all his passengers and anyone else (including the barang cyclists) who happened to also be in the road… however we didn’t die… and made it into PP in time for lunch and a rest!

It was a really great trip… lots of fun. I am glad I did it…

Now today apparently is the start of the world cup…perhaps I should find out when England’s playing and who they’re playing? Hmm I don’t think football is popular in the bodge… if I didn’t watch the bbc in the morning I would probably be oblivious to the fact that Wayne Roony got injured a while ago… and that the world cup was taking place in Germany…

This is more than enough from me I think
X x x x

observations from a new country

sitting in a hotel lobby in Saigon/Ho Chi Minh city... we arrived in on the bus and picked up some hopefully not too tragic bikes and now am waiting for the room to be sorted!
Hilary my bike is predominantly orange. not through choice... there was no choice... but the range was better than PP... my bike is not designed for midgits...

i thought i would quickly write down some small observations from the 3 or so hours i have been here!

• PP is a village... this place is huge in comparison
• Everything is much cleaner, and better kept
• There are many motos... same as PP, but they seem to be in better condition on the whole.
• People in Vietnam dont wear motorbike helmets... in PP some people do wear them... but here i have seen i think only 1 person wearing one... silly
• People obey the traffic rules... i think i would feel guilty cycling down a one way street or jumping a red light!
• There are taxis... wow...
• There are tall glass type buildings...
• The roads dont have pot holes
• There is a KFC... i dont think there are any international fast food chains in PP...

I was thinking life in PP was pretty cushty, but perhaps coming here makes me realise that it might well be in comparison to UB... but Saigon is a whole new level of niceness... hmmm but i still dont think you can drink the water from the taps... oh i dream of a day when i can stick my head under a tap and drinkdrinkdrink

I think tomorrow we will head off on our new bikes back to the boarder... we might split the trip into 3 days rather than 2... it is hot and neither of us have cycled much this year... and our bikes are untested! This means tomorrow night looks like it might be spent at a casino on the boarder... i'm thinking there is potential for entertainment there...

love from me and uncle Ho x x x